


It's Only Dancing

by wispmother



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, F/M, sad sad sad always the sad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:11:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5684806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wispmother/pseuds/wispmother
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And I wanna scream, I wanna burst,<br/>I wanna blame the whole damn universe,<br/>but the same three words I whisper to myself:<br/>it's only dancing."</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Only Dancing

It had to have been nearly midnight when Barry’s phone rang, the tone familiar and cheerful in the silence of his room. He’d been half asleep, but he reached for it anyway, forcing himself to open his eyes and focus on the ‘answer call’ button. He cleared his throat, sitting up as he spoke.

“Hello?”

“I’m sorry, were you asleep?” Suzy’s voice was quiet and small and Barry knew something was wrong.

“No, I’m still up. What’s wrong?” he asked, swinging his legs out of bed, setting them on the ground, then standing up to find the clothes he’d already tossed aside for the day.

“I just…. I dunno I’m just sad.”

“Want me to come over?”

“…You don’t mind?”

“Never. Gimme a few minutes, I’ll come to the kitchen door.”

Barry hung up and found his pants, putting his phone in his pocket as he retrieved the shirt he’d been wearing earlier, tugging it on over his head as he slipped out of his room. The house was dark, and he could hear his parent’s rhythmic breathing coming from their room; they were sound asleep. He moved downstairs, his steps placed to avoid the spots on the stairs where they creaked the loudest. Suzy’s house was a short trip through a few backyards from Barry’s, and he’d made this trip several times over the course of their friendship. He made his way to the back patio door, silently sliding it open and slipping outside without disturbing the peace. The air was warm, but not muggy, and the grass was already dewy, Little left behind grass clippings clung to his bare feet as he walked through neighbor’s property, swinging wide around the yard with the overprotective dog and keeping behind a hedge at the border of a yard with an overzealous alarm system.

The door that led to the kitchen in Suzy’s house was on the near side; a lone, yellowish light the only indicator that it was there. Barry knew it was on for his benefit – it was only ever on when he was expected in the middle of the night. He knocked lightly once before opening the screen door, the creak of the spring causing him to grimace. The kitchen was dim, but Suzy was there, sitting on the counter, one knee tucked under her chin as she absently stared at her phone. The little radio mounted under the wall cabinets was on, tuned to a station playing old songs Barry didn’t recognize.

“Won’t your parents hear?” he said, gesturing to the radio. Suzy looked up, then to the radio and back to him before shaking her head.

“They’re out of town.”

“Siblings?”

“Asleep. They’d sleep through the apocalypse, you know that.”

Barry nodded, moving to sit on the counter opposite his friend. For a few long moments, they were silent, Barry looking at Suzy, Suzy looking at her phone.

“Does it ever feel like everything’s moving too fast?” she finally asked, her stare pointed at him. Barry shrugged and pondered the question, resting his hands on the edge of the counter on either side of his thighs as he leaned forward.

“You mean like summer break is over next week and we’re gonna be seniors and you have no idea how time flew that fast?”

“But even more than that,” she started, her focus moving away from him. She was on the verge of tears. “Like, it just feels like everything’s a blur and when you try to picture yourself in the future you just…can’t? And it scares you because it’s like you can’t keep up to the pace of your own life?”

Barry nodded, waiting for Suzy to move first. She let her leg that she’d had tucked to her chest dangle off the edge of the counter with the other, her focus coming back to Barry. She gave him a weak smile and laughed, rubbing the back of her hand against her eyes, fighting at the tears she couldn’t hold back.

“I’m sorry I asked you to come over and watch me cry. There are better things to be doing at midnight, right?”

The boy slid off the counter without a word. He took her hands and pulled her off the counter, a little laugh escaping from her throat despite her tears. Barry took Suzy’s left hand in his right, holding it out just so as he carefully, tentatively set his own left hand on her hip, holding steady over the fabric of her sundress. The song on the radio was gentle and swaying, and Barry led her in a shuffling two step around the kitchen.

“Coming over in the middle of the night to help you stop crying is my job, Suzy.” Barry murmured, pushing the girl into a spin at a swell in the music. Suzy smiled, laughed, and the hints of fear and uncertainty on her pretty face were gone. They danced until the song was over, and then danced to the next song that played, breaking apart when the deejay broke their trance by announcing the titles of the songs.

“I’m glad I called you.” She said, leaning against the counter, any hint of upset gone. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You didn’t,” Barry said, unconvincingly. Suzy rolled her eyes.

“You were. It was midnight and you have a shift tomorrow. You’re such an old man.”

Barry lifted his hands, grasping for a comeback, but he gave up with a shrug.

“You got me. I’m an 80 year old stuck in a 17 year old’s body.”

“Go home, go back to bed. I’ll be alright.” Suzy said, stretching her arms over her head before crossing them over her chest. “I’ll come see you at work tomorrow.”

“Sounds good,” Barry said, heading towards the screen door. He slipped back out into the dark, and was gone.

 

 

 

“We could still go home, you know.” Suzy said, picking at the corsage on her wrist. She glanced over to Barry who shifted his weight from one foot to the other, surveying the decorated gym in front of them with a blank expression. The disco ball hung from the ceiling cast flecks of light over everything, speckling the people dancing in front of the band the Senior Prom Committee had hired to be the evening’s entertainment.

“No, let’s stay,” Barry said, offering his arm in an exaggerated motion. Suzy smiled and took it, letting her friend lead her further into the gym. Barry hadn’t planned on going to prom at any point in his high school career – school dances weren’t something he was necessarily interested in, and Suzy always ended up going with a group of her girl friends or, like last year, got asked by someone else.  But this year Suzy didn’t get asked, and somehow it bothered her more than Barry ever thought it could, and something in him snapped.

“Thanks for taking me, Barry.” Suzy said as she slipped her arm out of his, going back to fidgeting with her corsage. “I know you don’t really like dances.”

“It’s not as bad as I thought it’d be so far,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I mean, there’s a disco ball, but it’s forgivable.”

The band leader announced a slow song and the dance floor seemed to go through a transformation: couples appearing out of the groups of people dancing together. The song started, and a few measures in Barry recognized the tune.

“We’ve danced to this before.”

“In my kitchen, right?” Suzy asked, a wide smile appearing on her face.

“Wanna dance again?” he asked, offering her a hand. Suzy looked at him, her smile fading in little ways, changing into a look that asked questions. She nodded, slipping her hand into his, taking up a familiar position. They swept out onto the floor, the song and their movements feeling like second nature.

“People are gonna talk when they see this,” Suzy muttered, keeping herself close. Barry shrugged, fighting back the knot in his throat.

“So? It’s not like we’re in love with each other. Friends dance together. It’s only dancing.”  He pushed her into a spin at the same swell, bringing her back in fast and close. Suzy’s face seemed to falter between confusion and hurt and amusement, but she recovered, settling on amusement.

“You’re right. It’s only dancing.”

 

 

 

 

Barry parked his car in the already full lot, walking up to the hall alone. He never quite got used to doing things alone after high school, but three years of college was enough time for him to not feel so weird about it. He made his way inside, finding his name placard and his seat, where he proceeded to sit, waiting to see who else got set at the table that was probably meant for mismatched guests. He wondered for half a moment if he’d have the table to himself.

Other guests filtered in quickly and before he realized it, someone with a microphone was announcing the bridal party. Perhaps faster than he meant to, Barry stood up, watching the far door where bridesmaids and groomsmen filtered in, moving to their assigned spots, waiting for the bride and groom.

Then, there she was.

Somehow, Suzy looked like she was born to wear her wedding dress. She was smiling and laughing and as far as Barry knew was moving in half-time, her gaze tracking around the room. Somehow, she found his gaze, and she waved, just for him. He offered a wave back, tried to smile as wide as she did. In an instant her attention was back to her groom, who smiled back at her and Barry knew he meant it. He couldn’t keep smiling as he sat back down as the bridal party took a seat.

He gained a few tablemates for dinner that distracted him enough, made polite conversation, listened well enough but when the music started he was alone again. The person with the microphone announced first dance, and Barry almost thought to leave.

But something kept him in place as Suzy and her groom took the dance floor, and a song that was vaguely familiar began to play. They swayed together, in perfect unison, their eyes fixed on one another. Nothing could touch them in their own little world.

Suddenly the music swelled and Suzy’s groom - her husband – pushed her into a twirl and that was enough. Barry stood up and moved for the door. From somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind a memory clamored forward and echoed in his brain.

‘It’s only dancing. It’s only dancing. It’s only dancing.’

**Author's Note:**

> there's this song by jeremy messersmith called "it's only dancing" and this fic is literally a written out reenactment of that song because i love it and also breaking people's hearts idk.


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